Day 7

The Birth of The Name…

My people! Good morning o! How we dey na? How the go dey go? Hope say body dey kamkpe? Hope say konji never carry us do useless things? I dey pray say make our day better o. Make Baba wey dey upstairs bless our hustle o. Make that boy and that girl wey we don dey eye since, make them gree for us o. Those of us wey never get Blackberry and dey willing to kpansh to get one (@TheFakeEsse I’m so sorry for adding this) make God give us maga o! Make Baba God no allow any Mammy Water use our destiny do dildo o (@DrewBaba I swear you be idiot for this…)…. Oya all of una shout Amen!!!! Taqwa (@Qghaz) You will not shout abi? After you will be wondering why you’re always begging Okada men to take N20 from you for N30 journey…. Msccheeewww

For those wondering why I decided to pray before I started today’s post, na because I no get anything write for today… I just use all that one chop space ni… Una know say I no nice reach that level… As usual I’ll thank everybody that has been reading the challenge from Day 1 and have been showing their love and hate (mostly) in the comments. God go make una bigger. To those that have turned my blog to their daily dose of comedy, I sincerely hope that God will give you something really funny to laugh about, as I’m not a comedian. I’m just a normal boy writing the normal thoughts in his head.  And some idiots will yimu at this point…

Oya, enough foreplay. Time to get down to the actual fucking. According to the list I prepared for the series, day 7’s post is to discuss how I got my blog name. It is an extremely boring and short story, and given the fact that Argentina just spoilt my day (3-1 is way too small na), I’m just gonna get right down to the day’s business.

For those of you that are blind, like our dear @okziii, the name of my blog is Wana’s Playbook. Now to tell you the story of how I got the name “Wana”, we’ll have to go on yet another journey back in time. You will all have to stand throughout, as my good friend has refused to borrow us our comfy Vitafoam mattress. He said he found “what looked like sperm stains” on the mattress… I wonder who could be responsible…

BOOM!

December 2003

It’s a surprisingly hot afternoon in December, and I have just finished the 1st term of my second year in F.G.C. Lagos. I leave school with my sister and cousin to his house in the very razz area of Ijegun. The newest trend in my class then was the opening of personal mail boxes, and I am eager to get to a cyber-café to open my own. After getting home and changing, I head off to the Café to open my account, while forming different user-names as I walk. I settle on “Mayowaxy” as that was the trend in school, with nick-names such as  “Adexy”, “Babexy” and “Kenexy” being the popular nick-names in school. I finally spot a cyber-café and I enter.

The cyber-café does not look like a quality one; there are just about 5 computers which are all without users. I pay the attendant some money for 30 minutes worth of Internet access and I proceed to a computer to begin my quest. After typing the address for Yahoo! Mail and waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the site to load, the site opens and I fill the sign-up form. After sending the form and waiting for another long period, the site returns a page telling me “Username not available”. I am surprised, as I do not know who would steal my epic name. I send it again but it brings back the same message. I try other variations including “Mayowaxy” and “Mayowalexy”, but they return the same message. At this point I notice I have just 5 minutes left, and I have to sacrifice the money I had planned to use to buy Agege Bread for another 30 minutes of Internet access.

After trying to register unsuccessfully for another 15 minutes, while trying usernames like “godpunishkasmen@yahoo.com”(Kasmen was the name of my dormitory prefect in JSS2), Yahoo! decides to help me and asks me to enter 3 words with which it would give me a customized mail address. I enter my first name “Mayowa”, then I enter “Naija” and then I enter “Dog” (I have an abnormally long head and used to be called Doggito by my mates… Sadly, at the time I thought it was cool… You can’t blame me though… I was just 10 :D). … And thus my e-mail address became “mayowanaijadog@yahoo.co.uk”.

Let’s fast-track a bit into the future….

January 2008

It’s the resumption of my 2nd semester in my 100 level at Unilorin, and I resume with a brand new phone, a Nokia 6233. I have never had a phone that could browse and play music before this, and I am very excited. I quickly get an MTN Sim card, and get the latest browsing cheat codes. (#MoneyMustNeverEverWaste). Most of my friends are on a chat site called Prodigits, and I try to join too. The sign-up form at Prodigits states that the username must not be more than 8 characters. I didn’t see this, and I type in my full e-mail address and send the form. The site only recognizes the first 8 characters of the MAYOWANAijadog@yahoo.co.uk, and thus my username on the chat site was “Mayowana”. Friends started calling me Mayowana and after some time the “Mayo” was removed and people started calling me “Wana.”

BOOM!

Yes, that’s how I got the name “Wana”. As for the “Playbook”, that’s just plain English. But given the fact that some people here are Patience Jonathan-ish in nature, I will still break it down. Play = That thing you do with sand and grass when you were small. Book = That thing made up of plenty papers that has useful information written on it. I know @Segun_ still doesn’t understand… May God help you o…

See y’all tomorrow…. Peace!

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