For the 16th time, Good morning… I’m really getting tired of saying that… I know Baba God upstairs is gonna make sure y’all have wonderful days… Just because you read my blog though :D… @Rinolee you know you’re not included here… The idiot leaked my pin on Twitter yesterday… Had to spend a lot of useful time deleting some konjified idiots… Kept the pin of some 2 girls though… You know what they say, “Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining” 😀

Enough small talk. Yesterday witnessed the arrival of the first visitor on my blog, and surprisingly, people took it well. That means only one thing though, most of the remaining 14 posts are gonna be written by a host of extra-talented bloggers, so you don’t have to listen to boring old me ramble for the next two weeks…

I’ve been reading a couple of blogs recently, and I have to say my self-esteem is dropping by the day. I have read blogs that made mad brain (I’m not talking about a certain “job” here o!), like @haphenie’s and LadeTawak’s… Blogs that contain meaningful ish, not like the rubbish Me and @Terdoh usually post here… In light of that, me sef wan post serious post… As in, no laughing at all *straight face*

Today’s post is music-related. I have written something similar to this, but I witnessed something 2 days ago that made me so angry I just had to re-write it. I love music. A lot. And it pains me to hear the kind of music produced by so-called “artistes” nowadays. I thought this problem was only in Nigeria, but seems it has spread to the whole of Africa. And it really hurts me to see the way these people torture, murder and hang music by the balls.

When I first heard Scally’s Dadubule earlier this year, I was angry. So angry that I had to write a blog post. But the song I heard the day before yesterday didn’t just make me angry. It also made me sad. Very sad. The song was Liz Ogumbo’s Blue Jeans.

Anyone who has heard that song, will agree with me that the person who sang that song, the producer who mixed and mastered it, the back-up vocalists, the person who directed the video, the people who work in the radio and TV stations that play the song, should all be killed. They should be given Izal and Indocide to drink, then they should be shot 41 times each, then butchered and fed to some local hungry Calabar dogs… Yes the song is that horrible.

Before I can call a particular song good music, I take a number of assessments. I consider the lyrics, the instrumentals of the song, the delivery of the song and some other factors. Skally’s Dadubule and it’s brothers (Damoche’s Obo To She and all Cabo Snoop songs), as useless as they are, satisfy at least one of my criteria, which is the instrumentals. They have beats that can make even the sanest persons go gugu gaga on the dance-floor. And for that singular reason, they qualify, to a minute extent at least, to be referred to as music.

The same, sadly, cannot be said for Liz Ogumbo’s mixture of sounds (I refuse to call that “thing” a song). The beat was horrible, there was no consistent pattern in the song, and worst of all, the lyrics were sad. As in, really sad. Scally’s lyrics, no matter how utterly stupid they sounded, had a little sense. He was extremely horny and had to say how he felt. Understandable. But I’m still trying to decipher the meaning of “What you gon’ do if you don’t have a big yansh in a blue jeans?” What does a big yansh in a blue jeans signify?

According to her label’s web-site, liz Ogumbo’s genre of music is “supposed” to be Jazz/Soul. Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong, India Arie and Erykah Badu would cry at such defamation of their genre of music. Jazz has always been music for the gentle and elite, and I don’t think a gathering of Presidents would be entertained by the benefits of having a big yansh in a blue jeans. Soul on the other hand, is supposed to calm you down… There is nothing soothing about a big yansh in a blue jeans. It excites some parts of me though, but definitely doesn’t soothe.

Now to the point of today’s post. Is music these people’s only hope of making it in life? Must they sing? Were they told when they were young that it’s either they go into music or nothing. Let’s look at Skally for example. He’s a lil’ huge and has a hoarse voice. He would make a very good conductor, and if he applied himself well, could make it to chairman of Road Union Workers. Or Liz Ogumbo, who with her long legs and Kenyan heritage, should be able to run very well and thus would make a wonderful Gala seller.

My point is, these people are blinded by the fame and wealth the superstars before them have amassed, and feel the only way to achieve similar is through music. I tell my friends who sing/rap who bring their songs to me to listen and publicize, “I cannot do PR for shit. Friends or no friends. You sing bull-shit, you’re on your own.” There are so many people that have made so much money and fame, and didn’t even have anything to do with music.

Please, all of you whack artists/singers/jazzers/soulers/rappers: Do not spoil the industry for those that are good. A friend of mine, Olaolu Ogunbanjo, doesn’t listen to Nigerian music again… I think he listened to a Jim Iyke track and was terribly traumatized. If you know you don’t have that talent, don’t go into music. That’s one reason why I like the Comedy industry. If you’re not a natural, you can’t make it. People need to wake up and stop patronizing the whack people who think music is their fast lane to success…

I think I’ve ranted enough for one post… I have some other ish to run, and some articles from some guest-writers to go through…

Till tomorrow, people! Peace!

Advertisements