Good Morning! I am so happy! We have entered the last 10 days! *passes a cup of zobo to everybody*
Today is my girlfriend, @kemmiiii’s birthday. My dear, I wish you everything your heart desires. May God’s blessings follow you everywhere you go like flies follow rotten Amala… As today is your b’day, I haff dash you my blog for the day. It’s all yours… *hands mic over*
Heyoo.. @Kemmiiii here…
Before you start getting ready to fall off your chair, Roll into a gutter or laugh off your FLAT ass and all, Check again. This is not the Famzing Naija Dog. I AM NOT FUNNY.
Reality Check: Kemi Here.
*In secondary school debate tone* “Before I go on, let me give honour to whom honour is due; Thank you Mr. Naija Dog for giving me the opportunity to grace your awesome blog…Thank you ardent readers for coming back and I’m sorry that you will not find what you seek today.
So today is my birthday. Yes. I’m a proud Virgo :D. I thought I said today is my birthday? Why aren’t you screaming happy birthday yet? Oh…I see you now…God go make you bigger.
I’m here to share with you guys; 18 things I’ve learnt in my 18 long years of life.
Just a few nuggets of wisdom;
1. Omo is not food. I mean that blue detergent. Yes. When I was little, Omo was blue. You juvies probably don’t know that. I loved that sweet taste of Omo…Orgasmic! Uhn! I use to lock myself in the store to eat Omo. But one fateful day, I was so overwhelmed by the quantity of omo in the store…I ate too much and it did not go down well. That day my Momma found out why all her detergent was always disappearing. Omo and I broke up after that day. Don’t be shaking your head there, I know people that ate Chalk, Sand, Stone, Paper and all sorts. Some of them are reading this.
2. Don’t cook what you dunno. During one of those very long and boring holidays, I tried out my hands in the kitchen…Can I call making Pizza and Chin Chin baking? Whatever it is, I tried it. I failed woefully. For the pizza, It turned out to be bread that lacked yeast. Hard as a rock. Unfortunately, as I brought out my masterpiece (in my mind) out of the oven, my mother came back home. The Chin Chin. I forgot to put egg inside…do I need to say more?
3. Don’t keep a diary. This is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. I dunno how my dairy got into the hands of the boys in my class, somehow it got into their hands and they helped me calculate the date of my next period. Good thing I don’t write nasty things about people.
4. Always smile. “The second best thing you can do with your lips is smile” I’m a smiler. I smile “almost” every time. In High school, l I was presented the award for the friendliest smile 🙂 But Med school is tryna take a toll on me. Still, One of my classmates came to me today. He was like why am I always so happy. Even when they bring out bastard results I will still smile. He asked why I’m always happy and I told him; “I have every reason to be happy”
5. Don’t Share your troubles with the world. “A problem shared is a NOT problem half solved” It is just a problem shared. It will take a little weight off your shoulders but it is not half solved.
6. Be Truthful. I’m a very impulsive liar… I can lie for Africa. But I tell lies only when necessary. You have to be smart and convincing enough ’cause sometimes, you have to cover up a lie with another lie. My close friends can’t even tell when I’m telling a lie or not. I hope I don’t turn out to be like the boy that cried wolf. You know that story don’t you? I still wonder why I can’t write stories. Story tellers are the best liars.
7 Everything is possible. Anything and Everything is possible. Just believe. Ask someone that filled Jamb form for dentistry and found her name on the medicine list. Or the one that scored 40 something and the cut off was 60 something and still made the merit list. Some people have Long Legs sha.
8. Vic O is underrated. This guy is the next big thing in the music industry and y’all think he’s got jokes. He is the fastest rapper alive. We are in love and this December he is coming to Nigeria to BEG my daddy for my hand in marriage. If you think I’m lying, I can foward our skype conversations to you.
9. Because you read doesn’t mean you will pass. This is one of the many things I have learnt in Med school. Passing an exam is beyond knowing it. It is really deep.
10. First love is truly the sweetest.
11. Never put your hand at the end of an Escalator. You know what they say… Curiosity killed the cat. When if first saw that escalator in the airport I was beyond marvelled, I remembered seeing the escalator in Tom and Jerry when Tom died and went to heaven. I put my hand at the end of the escalator and the pain was gruesome. Don’t try it.
12. Don’t believe everything bloggers write. Learn from blogs but don’t be too dependent. All your issues are not conventional.
13. Necessity is the mother of invention
14. Mr. Ikuelogbon doesn’t tell lies. Mr. Ikuelogbon was my Biology teacher in high school. He was always telling us “you will go deeper” when you get tro higher institution. I will just sit down there and be yimuing thinking the man is just lazy. Until I came face to face with Anatomy.
15. Google is your friend. Google; Saving you from hand falling. Since forever. Lemme give you this scenario. Everybody on twitter be tweeting “#np party rock anthem – LMFAO” in your head, you’ll be like what’s so funny? Instead of going:
What’s so funny? RT @Sharpguy: #np party rock anthem – LMFAO…Gently google party rock anthem and your have saved yourself from falling hands. Don’t take it personal when people say google is your friend.
16. Be happy With Who you are, where you are and what you’ve become. Last Thursday, my anatomy teacher told us that over 6000 people wrote Unilag’s post Ume for Medicine. And there are only 130 available spaces. Shouldn’t I be encouraged that If I decide to give up, over 5000 people will scramble for my space?
17. Age and maturity are not directly
proportional. This is not a sub at Mazi o!
18. Be Thankful. Check my latest blogpost on Being Thankful 🙂
*grabs mic* Kemi, you are mad. Simple. Finish. End of Story. Who is famzing Naija dog? Don’t let me vex for you, you this Omo-Eater.
Have a fabolous day, boo. Where the parry at? Come on BBM let’s talk.
I wanted to lock this post because I know some of you will not come with birthday gifts, but most of y’all already the password would be “bread”, so I just boned it. All of you wish her Happy Birthday o!
See y’all tomorrow! Peace!