Good morning, people! How’s it hanging? How body?

It’s a wonderful Thursday morning, and there’s just 8 days left of me giving you guys crap (All of una wey una abuse me yesterday, I see una o.) Yesterday was my girlfriend’s birthday, and she used the opportunity to steal all my shine. Still love you much sha.

Today is my future wife’s birthday (refer to Day 6: In 10 Year’s Time), and I want to wish her a very happy birthday. And although she probably doesn’t believe it, I actually like her. A lot.

Now that I have finished setting P, let’s move on to the day’s business. I have another post from a guest writer, the very useless @Saheedt. I know my blog is known for bullshit, but this guy actually brought shit to my blog. Literally. *wears gloves and gives him the mic*
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Hi all! I’m actually a nobody in Blogville, so lemme take a little time out to introduce myself. Saheed is the name, Second of three children, only son, final year student studying Urban and Regional Planning in Lautech (Ladoke Akintola University of Technology) in the weird town of Ogbomoso…I think that’s all for now.

Since I’m a guest here, I’m gonna keep things as short as possible, as I don’t wanna steal Wana’s shine ( My word-play’s incredible :D)

SHYTE.

Also known as Faeces or excrement… I’m gonna use Faeces as the alternate name.

Shyte (Faeces): noun

1. Waste matter discharged from the intestines through the anus; excrement.
2. Sediment.

Origin:
Between 1425–75

Types:

Very Hard Shyte
Hard Shyte
In-between Hard & Soft Shyte
Soft Shyte
Semi-Solid Shyte
Watery Shyte
Liquid Shyte

The various types of Shyte are induced by various occasions. For example,

Very Hard Shyte: This comes after a prolonged Fufu/ Akpu session.

Hard Shyte: This will come in after Eba (made with either white or yellow garri).

Watery Shyte: This comes in after chowing every thing you can put your hands on in an eatery from Meat Pies to “alcoholic” Sharwarma, Chicken, Pizza and packs and packs of juice. This type is mainly common in “Ebinna” or “I Never Chop” girls).

The importance of Shyte can not be over emphasized, for someone like me whose day can never start without a good warm Shyte (They never come cold) It’s one of the things in life people don’t give its proper recognition. In my own opinion, Shyte should be celebrated (GRADE-A celebrity) cause it relieves the body organs of toxins and in general, it gives the human body a gift of stress relief!! (No babe fit dey cat-walk when watery shyte dey tickle hin rectum…any babe wey try am…….you know the rest).

Shyte, being a spontaneous & humorous dude, gives us all funny faces like (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^) whenever we are in his world (the toilet), no matter how hardened a nigga you are (if u don't believe me, ask Sanni Abacha).

Now to my real anger. A lot of us don't know the gift we have, the ability to stroll into the toilet at will to drop that "shit" like its hot. Some people pay about N700,000 every 2 weeks just to Shyte (hemodialysis – though other wastes/toxins are also collected from the blood).

We all should help our body make "Shyting" a free flowing, self generated process by caring for our kidney and liver alike.

Here are some tips to keeping one's kidney and liver alive:

1. Adjusting one's protein intake:
Protein is broken down by your kidneys and eating too much protein can overwork these organs.
Plant-based proteins are easier to break down than animal-based proteins, therefore, replacing some animal proteins with plant proteins may be beneficial to your kidney health.
If your kidneys are healthy and functioning properly, eating high amounts of protein will not be an issue but sadly we don't keep medical records or even bother to go for check ups down here in obodo Nigeria,so it's better to be on a safe side.

2. Wise use of medication:
The American Liver Foundation notes that correct medication use is important to the health of your liver; taking medications incorrectly or mixing them with other drugs can be unhealthy for your liver.

And also, avoid taking more than the recommended dose of any medications. Use medication only when absolutely necessary and avoid taking medications with alcohol.

It has also been proven that, using too many pain medications or taking medications incorrectly can cause damage to your kidneys.

3. Limit exposure to toxins:
Exposure to toxins such as aerosols, insecticides (as Wana will call it, Flit), chemicals and cigarettes can damage your liver cells, notes the American Liver Foundation. It is important to avoid exposure to toxins. Protect yourself appropriately if you are going to be exposed by wearing protective gear to limit exposure to your skin and lungs

4. Limit your alcohol intake:
Alcohol contains toxic substances that can contribute to poor kidney and liver health. Drinking even small amounts of alcohol can contribute to the development of liver damage and possibly cirrhosis. If you drink alcohol it is important to talk with your doctor about how much you drink and how it may be affecting the health of your liver and kidneys.

( Cirrhosis: a disease of the liver characterized by increase of connective tissue and alteration in gross and microscopic makeup.)

5. Eat healthy:
Eating a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables and whole grains will provide your liver and kidneys with the vitamins, minerals and fiber they need to keep functioning properly and maintain health. Also, including the foods discussed in your diet will help you maintain a healthy weight, which is an important factor for your liver and kidney health.

Like a wise man once said; "SHIT BUSINESS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS"

Embrace you "SHYTE" ……its in your "ass"
Thank you.
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*picks mic still wearing gloves* *wears gas mask* First of all, Saheed, you are a cow. Me wey be graduate with honors of Human Anatomy no write medical post, you come go carry your big head dey write about Shyte… Disgusting Mofo…

Who told you that Shyte (this word dey vex me ehn…) Originated in 1425 abi when you call am? Before then nko? Them no dey shyte?

I like that you did some research work at least sha… Make sense… Vital knowledge that some people really need.. Esse have you heard? There's a place called the Toilet. T.O.I.L.E.T. Stop shitting on yourself.

Thank you, and no thank you, for bringing Shit to my blog.

Till tomorrow y'all, Peace!

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