Good Morning!

Happy Sunday and new Week to you all. May Baba God bless all our hustles. And yes, the latest prayer in town: God Go Make Us Bigger…. I wonder if people like Rick Ross say this prayer too…

Today, I’m hosting a Blogville legend *trumpets sound* *in Old English accent* Announcing the arrival of His Royal Horniness, King Terdoh Buresadamenko the 3rd. *prostrates and hands over megaphone. (King Terdoh is too big for a mic).

Hi there. Terdoh here.

(I wonder why every guest blogger starts like that. Was there a meeting where all the retards decided; “If it’s a feature, we say “Hi there, Retard 003 here” before we start the post”? I want to go against the norm)

So……… Hi there, uhm….yeah. Hi. *insert straightface frowney*

First off, I want to apologize to Wana for taking so long to write a damn post for him. Laziness is the devil’s right hand chairman. I hope I am forgiven.

No? Damn… Oh well.

Ever had writer’s block? You have? Ha. Good for you. Well, the thing is, you have to ACTUALLY be a writer to have writer’s block. People like Wana, Slevin, Kelvin, etc. can’t have writer’s block, cos….well, cos they can’t write for shit. That’s why Wana has been posting EVERY day. He is not a writer. But then again, it’s his 30 day challenge. I have to applaud his commitment.

Anyway, I don’t have writer’s block. I just don’t know what to say. So I’ll just rant. Can I do that? No? *Turns to Wana* Can I do that? No? I have to give an actual post? 😦 This is sad…really.

Okay, fine. Today’s post is about marriage proposals.

Proposals; Doing it right.

Truth is, I don’t know how to propose. I only did it once, with Esse. And it was after some mind-blowing, ororo-frying, hot, steamy sex. Yes. I put the ring in her hair during the coitus. She couldn’t say no.

Like a boss.

I woke up seconds later though, but that’s not the point.

I could paint a hundred scenarios of crazy proposals, but I want to throw in some controversy and at the same time try to keep it short. So I’ll just give three scenarios. Ladies, put yourselves in the shoes of the girlfriends in question;

Scenario 1:
@Rinolee picks his girlfriend (who lives in Ikorodu) up at 8pm for a casual drive around town, you know…quality time. He has the ring in the pigeonhole, and he can barely contain himself from all the excitement. His intention is to take her to Jade Palace and treat her to some good food and red wine, but he couldn’t hold it any longer.

He parks on 3rd mainland bridge, and even though it’s drizzling lightly, comes out, opens the door and helps her out. It starts to rain. It’s all so romantic. He reaches for the ring and kneels and asks her to marry him.

[Here’s the thing, @Rinolee is a womanizer and owns a clothing line that specializes in making wife beaters only, and if she says yes, she will be stuck with this play station guru. But if she says no, she will trek to Ikorodu…remember, it’s 3rd mainland, and it’s raining]

Scenario 2:
@Qghaz and his girl have been dating for about a year. She gets home to meet him cooking dinner for them both. It will take a while before everything is ready, so she heads to her room to shower and sees little pink feet with kisses pasted on the floor. The feet lead to her bedroom mirror, and the words “I kiss the very ground you walk on” are written on the mirror with black marker.

There’s a big box of chocolates with incomprehensible words inscribed on the cover. As she opens the lid on the box, it reads “Will you marry me?” in the mirror. The ring sits on the biggest chocolate in the centre. She looks up to see @Quaghz in the mirror smiling at her.

[One more thing, if she says yes, she will be his second wife. And no, he hasn’t (and isn’t going to) divorce the first]

Scenario 3:
Ben has been with his girlfriend for 12 years now. A dozen years in the bag, and he really needs to tie the knot with this woman before it gets too late for both of them. He really loves her, and she does him.

He finally pops the question like a Lil’ Wayne lolly, on his knees, with a 250 carat diamond ring, in a restaurant, and about 20 people watching.

[Here’s the snag; that ring is the same ring he used to propose to his late wife. He can afford to buy a new one, but thinks her important enough to have this one. Their biological clocks are ticking, he’s 43, and she’s 41]

So Ladies, If you were in any/all of these three shoes, will you say yes?

[I just got my Oracle on…asking jamb questions in public. Smh, Wana isn’t paying me to do this. My apologies yo. Won’t happen again.

Ah… I cannot contain my blushes… You always know quality when you see quality…

I asked you to write a post though, not prove your shared ancestry with Mazi Oracle. Wonderful post sha… But only girls can answer na… And @Segun_ too (Nigga’s homosexual)…

Well if it were up to Vin, my extra-horny bisexual side, only number would be a yes… Marriage where una go dey beat una sef steady… Sotey them go dey show am for WWE… Exactly why I never show this side of myself….

What about you?