I’m sorry, there will be no post today. Thank you for your support this past month, and may God bless every single one of you.




Okay… I was just kidding… Why won’t I post… Although I really don’t have anything to write and I’m just gonna ramble as usual, I’ll still post something…

*grabs mic* *looks around* *insert dramatic theme song*

“Accept the dangers of challenges, so you can feel the exhilaration of victory.” George S. Patton.

“Actually, the moment of victory is wonderful, but also sad. It means that your trip is ended.” Bill Toomey.

“And that is the reason why this victory is great, because different players have made contributions to the win.” Sachin Tendulkar.

Good Morning.

Before we start today’s service, I would like us to quickly put our hands together for Ogun, who has been guiding us and providing inspiration from Day 1 up to this fateful day. We thank you very much.

Today, I wrap up, what has to be the most tasking 30 days of my life in recent times, and I have to say I’m impressed and extremely proud with myself. But we have gathered here today, in the holy House of Orunmila, not to gloat, but to thank him for his mercies, to pray, and to eat freshly baked Barcelos bread. Can I get a “Wa Shere”?

*Congregation screams “Wa shere”*

Sanponna bless you all.

Today’s sermon is from Evangelist Chief Dr. Mrs. @Phyrdausi. (B.Sc, M.Sc, MB;BS, B.A, LL.B, M;ChB, P.hD) I asked her to send in a sermon for us, but she sent a blogpost. Make person just foolish after so many degrees… *sighs*

*puts on Projector and displays sermon there*

“@Phyrdausi here. Me blogpost. Me very first blogpost. If you think it sucks, you honestly can’t expect me to care. Ok, so I was coerced into doing this ’cause my ‘friend’ thinks I’m lazy. He really believes I can be a writer. :’) That’s touching. So I’m on a field trip to Blogsville!!! *waving* Nee Sama!!! 😀

Ok. I’m done with introductions. Now, a topic!! *sigh*… Suicide. it’s not just ending your life… stopping your heart. It’s killing yourself. Figuratively, literally, whatever. That didn’t make sense, but sense, like life and almost everything in it, is a matter of perspective. To commit this particular type of suicide, you must know yourself and then proceed to ‘kill’ yourself. By God, I’m not making sense! I shall proceed.

Since we can’t all physically commit suicide, because we are a bunch of
religious/godly people who fear eternal damnation and want our souls to have a resting place, we need an alternative. Life would be a whole lot better if we could just kill our emotions. That’s the point i’m driving at!! *whew*! I’m slow. Emotions. Things that get in the way of your brain. I have no idea how one can kill their emotions… I’m taking a
self-help course in that department though…

It’s 2 am and I’m still awake writing this blog…. Tempted to play Anna Nalick’s Breathe…. 🙂 I digress… Emotions are the things that make and break us. Who has seen the movie Equilibrium? Now, that world was PERFECT. Devoid of emotion, art, music(?). If you don’t know it, google it. You probably won’t….

Most of these world’s problems are caused by emotions: Anger, Fear, Hatred… Some good things are caused by emotions too…. Love *pukes*
kindness and all. If we all manage to commit ‘suicide’ we would live in a
peaceful world….although seeing as we won’t be able to feel, we won’t
appreciate the peace… And like a 100 years after we have managed this revolution, a dumb bunny would ‘notice’ a ‘void’ in their life and search for a ‘moreness’ to life.

And they’ll get it! And our lovely balance would be ruined and we’d have to start ALLOVER again. Humanity! We are our own problems. We should
probably all commit suicide. That way, God would want to save us as he loves
us….. *sigh* I’m rambling…..

This is the worst blogpost you and I would ever read. It doesn’t make sense
to me but it makes sense to myself and I. Thank you for your time. -_-

*projector goes off*

Good Morning.

*stares at Congregation* *Congregation stares back blankly* *points at Esse*

Sister in the Lord… Yes You, Sister Esse… What did you learn from that sermon/post?

Esse: Well… *scratches head*… Not much… I didn’t understand most of the words, like “digress” and “perspective”…
It’s okay… Don’t forget your dictionaty when you’re coming next week… That’s even if you know how to use one… Is there anybody that gained anything significant from that post?

@Rinolee: Yes I did. That sense is a matter of perspective. I used to think I was a useless fool because every other human being on the planet thought I was. But now I know that I’m not. They just do not see things the way I see things.

*sigh* Trust me Amir, we see things exactly the way you see things. You really are a useless fool…

Since nobody got the real point of the sermon, even Terdoh that I expected to have small sense obviously forgot it at home, I will explain.

Emotions are evil. They cloud your reasoning. They make you do things you wouldn’t you wouldn’t do normally. And the worst of these emotions are love and hate. So many countries have been destroyed, and so many people killed, because of this singular emotion. Love is even worse. In the 1st Book of Esu, chapter 3 vs 19, the Devil says, “… When a Man sells his kidney to buy a wedding gift for his ex-girlfriend who dumped him to marry his best-friend, then verily, that is true love.”

Dear Brethren-in-bread, you have heard the words of the wise ones. Kill your emotions. Thank You.

This service has come to an end, and would like a member of this congregation to kindly pray for us. Brother Terdoh, do you mind? Thank you.

Terdoh: *stands up in his herbalist attire* Ogun O! Ogun O! Ogun O! We have come here this morning to thank you. For sustaining of our lives from the first day of September to the last day of September. Ogun, we thank you.

Ogun, we also thank you for inspiring your prophet, Brother Wana, and giving him the ability to write a blog-post everyday. Ogun we thank you and hope that you will inspire more people to take up a similar challenge so that we can keep on laughing and praising your name. As for Brother Wana, we pray that you will give him a wife so he can stop setting P with other people’s wives.

Dear Ogun, each and every one of us here has our problems. Ogun, please save Sister Esse from the curse of Akpu. Bless Brother Rinolee with a little sense. As for Brother Segun, please change his sexual orientation. He thinks it is a good thing for people to stick things up his anus. Ogun, help them.

Congregation: Amen!

And so we have come to the end of this service. Thank you all for coming, and don’t forget to drop some offering money in the box.

Till we meet again tomorrow! Peace!

Ah… See them… Oloriburuku… Tomorrow ko, Yesterday ni… Mscheeeew!