@OluwaWanaBaba here. Why am I announcing myself on my own blog?

Anyways, my co-writer is back from his asylum, and has decided to write a Christmas post. Enjoy.

*****Wanabros Warning*****

The post you are about to read contains scenes/lines of violence and blood shed. Reader’s discretion is advised.

13 VSL

*yimu*

Time Check: 7.45am
Date: Sunday 25th December 2011
#np Skales – Keresimesi
Wakes up, checks calendar, goes back checks again
What! Its Christmas 😐 *sips lucodaze boost and total engine oil*
*Farts 7 times, brings out playbook, starts writing*

#iWrite

Good Morning ladies and gentlemen/Fellas and Females, ( or whatever you mortals refer to yourselves)
Its that time of the year again when @Rinolee and his awesome awesomeness @Terdoh are opportuned to get new clothes, glasses and wristwatches. Yes! Its Christmas day today. *burps*
I know its christmas day and I’m not supposed to be writing about obituaries but then, It’s very sad that many of us murder innocent citizens of the poultry republic of Obasanjo farms, in the name of christmas but still don’t know why Christmas is celebrated…
I mean, you just wake up, check the calendar, its 25th and the next minute swish… you cut the head off a chicken. Is it good? *God is watching*

I even wonder, what if Jesus was born in 2011? Would he be a Nigerian? An American? An European? An Asian? or < insert any other place you think Bros J would have come from; would he engage in twitfights with @de_vil, @lucy_far or @saytan? will he own the greatest P setting device known yet?; Will he even have more followers than Lady Gaga? No idea? Me too. Moving down

On christmas eve, I was opportuned to have a chat with the president of the Poultry republic. And boy was he in tears, I mean, his girlfriend of 7 months just broke up with him because she felt he might not be raptured as he was a skinny cock *no porn/pun intended* and also because he might die like the man at Sirte #WhyEvils

So, as a good boy (that I think I am) I have decided to teach y'all how to kill a cock. (Again no pun or porn intended)

Ready? Let's Go.

1. Before killing a cock, the cock must be availabe. Okwu aya? So the first step is to purchase/steal/breed a cock from the market/your neighbor's backyard/the street/ your friend's own

2. Boil hot water, and get a big basin/bath tub

3. Take the cock to an area that is comfortable and go to step 4.

4. Hold the body of the cock and make sure the cork is relaxed and work your way to the head ( make sure you do this carefully, a cock in the hand; is worth two on the streets) move to step 5

5. Dig a small hole and place the head/neck of the chicken over the hole.

6. Hold the cock firmly and remove the feathers around the neck to allow for easy penetration when the actual killing would be done.

7. Using a sharp knife cut the neck of the *male fowl* and hold it over the hole for the blood to flow inside. Maintain this stance until the fowl is lifeless

8. Put the hot water in a basin/bowl (depending on the size) and put the chicken inside or vice versa.

9. This is the part where you put remove the feathers from body of the chicken.

10. After removing the feathers, cut the chicken into two and remove everything that is not edible.

From this part, if you don't know what to do with the chicken, just send it via DHL to my house address or dial 0800- iDONATE

Disclaimer:

The above steps are not the words of a professional chicken assasin but represent the views of the author. If a chicken does not die after step 7, You're on your own.

If you're male, please don't stay close to a female reading this post as I or playbookutunu™ won't be held liable for any missing erm…
Anyway merry christmas and make sure to send some christmas rice my way… Please don't put curry in the rice, it makes me sick. And ahem, also let the chicken be fried too 🙂

My deep condolences to the families that lost their loved ones to the Christmas celebrations. May God grant you the fortitude to bear the pain, when it comes to your turn next year.

I'm still accepting christmas presents, show a brotha some love.
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I have said too much for a christmas post, so in the spirit of the season, kindly subscribe to this blog, and then proceed to twitter… And follow me 🙂

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*******Merry Christmas**************
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*strolls out in red and white filthy boxers*™

*** To God be the glory***
In the cause of writing this, no life was lost. The writer wishes to thank Santa Claus for the awesome wraps of jet fuel aka igboo. It really was an inspiration.

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