I almost forgot that I was gonna post this today… Before person go send me letter bomb for office, this is the continuation of Sunday’s post, Le Proffesuer.


8am Election Day…
My name is Sammy and I am in charge of Prof’s “smash and grab” team. We had hired the best hands in the area, swift footed muscular, fierce looking and not afraid to do away with unfriendly colors and prepared ourselves for the worst that could happen, if only we knew what the day had in stock for us.

As early as 4.30am, we were raided by the men in black. They said they had received an anonymous tip that boko Harlem members were planning to disrupt the elections and they had taken shelter in our house… to cut the story short, we were tagged Harlem members and we were bundled like Barcelos bread into the waiting Black Marias. Every effort to get them listen to me and get a call across to chief to inform him of the situation proved abortive as the driver just drove us straight to the divisional police station somewhere in New Benin. Altogether 350 men who had been seen were bundled in those vans. How would I tell Prof that the men who were going to fulfill his dreams were in a police cell when they were supposed to be grabbing something for him?

As soon as we got to the police station, the officers moved all of us to one secluded warehouse according to an order from above. But work had to go on. I quickly cornered one of the senior officers; pressed egunje into his hand and even promised him some more reward if he could facilitate our release before the break of dawn. 2 hours later we were released from custody, I got a call from Chief, he asked where I was at the moment and if I had been released by the police! How on earth did chief know that I was arrested? Was he the one who arranged the raid? Then it dawned on me.

Some years ago when Chief was still an undergraduate, he had told us a story of how Prof had asked him to sort him or fail his exams that semester. He didn’t have the full money, so he borrowed from friends to get the full funds but after sorting, Prof gave him a D, for all his efforts. Was this was Chief’s way of getting back at Prof? Was judgment day at hand? How do I tell Prof that his former student, Chief, now a political stalwart was hell bent on making him lose an election that had already cost him his life savings even before the actual elections?

I let go of the thoughts clouding my mind to focus my mind on the task at hand and headed with my men straight to the polling booths to carry out the plan but what I saw next was a pointer to the fact that the battle was lost. And that was when I called Prof.

My name is Prof and I am contesting for the senatorial seat in my constituency. You might be wondering what a 64 year old professor is doing, contesting a political position one year before the government retires him. But when you look at how much my friend’s son collects in allowances and constituency projects, you would curse me for not thinking about this idea ten years ago. As lecturers, we are responsible for raising the best minds that will take over the country and make it a better society to live in by making sure that they gain knowledge that would help them achieve their desire and we therefore deserve to be paid as much as those senators in the capital but, that is not the situation as they earn in 4 months what I won’t earn in 4 years even if I raise my sorting fee from fifteen thousand naira to twenty thousand naira per month! I was tired of having to watch children of government officials oppress my children and therefore I was going to do something about it, by hook or crook!
So I started forming alliances with the big boys who later introduced me to the whole game. To cut the long story short, I was given some phone numbers which I later found out belonged to election professionals. Armed with new found friends and all that I needed to make sure I got into the realms of power and possibly become the senate president! But all these dreams left my mind when I got that call from Sammy.

Sammy called me to say he and the other men had been arrested earlier in the morning but he had been released after sorting the men in black, but there was a problem. Chief had arranged the men in black to detain my men before they could take action and at the time Sammy was calling me, Chief’s boys had already hijacked the ballot boxes, leaving the polling booth empty. When I heard this, I just slumped and was only revived because of the quick response of well meaning passersby.

As soon as I regained consciousness, I placed a call through to my attorney, Barrister, who I had hired on the recommendation of one of my trusted friends. The phone had to ring several times before he finally picked up his phone, and after the usual exchange of pleasantries, I told him what had happened earlier that morning but instead of giving me an alternative plan, he told me to wait till the elections were finally over then we would proceed to the appeal court if at the end of the election I didn’t come out victorious. I was a fool to listen.

*Back to me*
After listening to my classmate narrate this epic to me, the worms in my stomach got more violent that the bombs up north; so I ended up buying my classmate mama Onome, so he could be strong to continue the story.
To be continued…
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And there you have it. There is no continuation after this one. Don’t be such greedy people.

Thanks for reading y’all!