Sup?

Okay I dunno what to write…

*scratches head, stares at keypad*

I can just post an empty something and I’m sure that it will be epic, as usual. Not eCowbell, not eDano, not eLoya, but ePeak.

I’m just Marvin like that.

Yes… Marvin.

@SlevinCalevra: Who TF is Marvin?

*sigh*

A line from Drake’s Headlines goes thus “I tuck my napkin in my shirt ’cause I’m just Marvin like that.” When I asked Drake about it, he said he was referring to R&B legend and multiple Grammy award-winning musician, Marvin Gaye, in whose (who’s? My grammar don dey faulty small small πŸ˜₯ )studio he also recorded hit song Marvin’s Room.

Obviously Marvin Gaye was a bad guy even till death (He was shot to death by his father… Does it get more ePeak than that?). And Aubrey told me, “Look Mayowa, you have to get your Marvin on… That’s the way forward”.

Yes… Me and Drake are on a first-name basis.

I’m just Marvin like that.

It doesn’t even need a genius to tell you that Marvin Gaye was a genius. Everything that starts with the letter “M” is definitely a great something. Think about it.

Mayowa. Moin-Moin. Manchester United. Masturbation. Mallam Spicy.

Yeah… We’re just Marvin like that.

So, what has been happening in your lives? Not that I care, but I don’t really have anything to write.

*sigh*

My boredom is obvious abi? ‘Tis not my fault o. Blame Ogun state, a.k.a Las Oggy. Whenever I think I have reached the cowbell of boredom, I discover new heights of boredom. It is a very sad something. Even Moin-Moin doesn’t seem to help.

And with every passing boring day, I discover something new and annoying about Abeokuta. This time it’s the topography. Abeokuta is an annoyingly rugged and twisted place.

@Rinolee: Topography? Rugged? I don’t understand those words.

@Terdoh: Amir, are you always this dumb? He means if you write “Abeokuta” on the top of a graph sheet, it appears rugged or rough.

@Rinolee: Wow… You’re so brilliant, Terdoh.

@Terdoh: Yeah… I’m just Marvin like that.

Ignore the above conversation. I’ve already sent requests to many Pastors and Imams to come and pray for them.

Back to my boredom, the reason you’re reading this.

I think I need a girlfriend… If I had someone to cook for me and make-out with all day, I probably won’t be this bored. But Abeokuta girls are just not it mehn. As Las Gidi is the City of Hustlers, so is Las Oggy the City of Ogres. Shrek would probably describe them as “utterly hideous”. Imagine someone as utterly hideous as Shrek telling you that you’re utterly hideous… *sigh*

But as the wise ones have proven, if you have Moin-Moin, you can do anything, including changing these girls from “utterly hideous” to “strikingly beautiful”. I could make them all beautiful if I wanted to. But I won’t.

Yeah… I’m just Marvin like that.

Another sad thing about Abeokuta girls is that they are abnormally horny. Abeokuta girls will fuck, kpansh, strafe, bang, copulate, smash, knack, penetrate and ride you till there are no more synonyms for “have sex” in your brain. And since I subscribe to Toxic’s Celibate Till Marriage magazine, I have no use for such hormone-ridden animals.

One up-side to my recent time in Abeokuta is my new friends. I’ve been hanging out with some ajebutter children of recent and it’s been rubbing off on me… My oyinbo accent is now tusher… If you hear me say “Iya Suliah, please bring my N60 beans and N50 dodo before I become angry and slap you to Abule-Egba and back” in my new improved British accent, you would be dazed and amazed.

Yeah. I’m just Marvin like that.

That reminds me…

*brings out crate of hot, egg-filled, richly-spiced, mouth-watering, semi-burnt, leaf-wrapped moin-moin*

We are celebrating today, and thus I have ordered the finest Moin-Moin the world has to offer. Made by 80 year-old grandmothers from Papua New Guinea.

@Kemmiiii: Yaaaaay!!!!! But hold up. What are we celebrating?

Don’t y’all know? Last night Arsenal FC confirmed that they would be going for the 8th straight season without a trophy! Isn’t that just amazing and worthy of celebration?
I actually didn’t watch the match (I don’t watch programs aired on Cartoon Network and Disney Channel), but the ‘noise’ on my TL was amazing. It was like every time Arsenal scored, a girl was giving them head. 3 times she went down on them and made them moan. But just when they needed her to suck one last time and make them cum, she ran away.

Sad shii.

That’s why it pays to be a Manchester United fan. If Man Utd was in such a situation (though impossible), one of us would just have entered the stadium through the DsTV dish and changed the scoreboard to 4-0.

Yeah, we’re just Marvin like that.

850 words… Not bad.

If you notice, when humans like Terdoh and Saka want to end a post, they start going all mushy and saying “Thanks for reading, come back soon”, “C U when I C U”, and all sort of corny stuff.

But when an Immortal like myself wants to end a post, I just end the post.

Yeah, I’m just Marvin like that.

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