Now playing: 5 Mics – Elevating

*Curtain opens*

Good day everyone. Please come together, there’s an unimportant announcement I need to make. First of, all the title of today’s post isn’t premiere, that means something else. *consult*

*links fly out, twitter tags, facebook posts, hi5 posts*

*10 minutes later*

[…This message is to inform all of our users, that our servers have recently been really full, so we are asking for your help to fix this problem. We need our active users to re-send this message to everyone on your contact list in order to confirm our active users that use UTUNU Messenger, if you do not send this message to all your UTUNUS then your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts and then your village is going to be exported to Europe and you will then become an American…]



We interrupt this broadcast to bring your an earlier unscheduled programme. are gathered here today, the first day of July not because we are worthy of being amongst the reading, but because someone somewhere is bored. *adjusts glasses*

Yes I said it, someone is bored and in other to put boredom to shame has decided to undergo a challenge. A challenge that will see him/her publish a post on playbookutunu everyday till the 7th day of the 7th month of 2012.


Now you would ask why 7 days, why not 30 days like the great Susheys, Terdohs (moment of silence), Cumicals etc. But then, if you look at the month of july, it has 5 sundays, 5 tuesdays and 5 monday; if you add 5 to 7, that gives you 12… Which further rhymes with the last 2 digits of this year 2012. This is a sign that this year is going to be a good year. *Please re-broadcast this message. Don’t break the chain*



Well, without further ado ladies and females, I present to you… Weighing £120, clad in blue filthy boxers™, with a record of 12 blog posts; 16 monkey posts, a lover of many; a hater of none… Ladies, please put your hands together as the man who we all know as… Wait for it… Niro!!!

*insert screams, cheers, chairs, girls fainting*

Niro: Readers, listeners, the fans at home, those in the shops, those in the factories and those that are still being designed. *clears throat*

My people have a saying that a wet cat is a happy cat. So on behalf of the immortals, we sincerely apologize over the frequent rains that have greeted your planet these few days. I can assure you that during the harvest time, they’re going to make sure you don’t only harvest yams, cassava, maize etc but you’ll also harvest things that are capable of playing bounce.

On that note, I’m presenting my 7 point agenda for this challenge. And they are as follows;

Day 1 – Intro (meet the challenger)

Day 2 – Ancient and modern: A tale of two cities

Day 3 – 7 people I should slap before I turn 70

Day 4 – Talents; who sells them?

Day 5 – the Anthology: poems you should know

Day 6 – 7 things to do with N30 million

Day 7 – Life and its opposite (Curtain Call/Vote of thanks)

These are the 7 that made the final list, but are subject to change…


Oh, and here are 7 things about me;

1. My name has not always been Niro. That’s short for Nteoniro.

2. I’m first a Nigerian, then an Andoni boy. (Andoni is in Rivers State).

3. I don’t drink to stupor, I wake up before I get drunk.

4. I’m a graphic designer and dj… *Add film maker to this if you’re reading this after 2013*

5. My dad has over 15 children, I’m the only boy; that’s because the rest are men. -____-

6. I’m a product of Federal Government College and I’m currently serving academic jail time at the university of Benin, benin city.

7. I’m not an active football follower but on a good day, I’m a Manchester united fan.

That’s all folks, see you tomorrow.

*The end*

I’d love to get feedback from you, kindly drop a comment below and tell me what you think.

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**curtain falls**