Now playing – Elton John – Goodbye yellow brick road

*skips into playbookutunu screening room wearing only shorts and a cup of zobo imperial*

Good morning my pikin dem, how una dey? Una don chop?

*clears throat*

Presenter: We’re sorry to interrupt this programme. This is to enable us bring you live proceedings of day 5 of Niro’s 7 day challenge. Over now to our Port Harcourt studio where Richard Question with Richard Quest and Christain Awanpour.

*grabs mic*

So today’s post is about poems and its going to be boring. Poems that over the years have come to be part of my philosophy. Poems that have kept me going when I asked a girl out and she told me I would have asked two weeks ago (sad story), poems that kept me going when I didn’t know which way to go… Either to do political science or stay at home and wait for mass communication; and then poems that inspire me because they stir up emotions. I won’t copy and paste the whole poem but then, I would just give enough to drive home my message (the message is an HP Sleekbook).

So ladies, here we go β€’ β€’ β€’

1. Abiku by Wole Soyinka:

In vain your bangles cast
Charmed circles at my feet;
I am Abiku, calling for the first
And the repeated time […]

This poem reminds me of secondary school. It was a weekday, and we were writing our Literature-in-English continuous assessment test. One of the questions was about this poem and since I hated poems then, I didn’t bother reading it, hoping that I’d copy from my regular girl. Five minutes into the test and she was moved to another seat *talk about Karma*. That was how I sat down there without any clue of what to write. When the test results came out, I scored 15/30 how? I wrote only the first line, and that was the answer to the question \(-_-)/. *I know all the people that sighed, I will write your names below*

2. Africa

Africa, my Africa
Africa of proud warriors in ancestral savannahs
Africa of whom my grandmother sings
On the banks of the distant river […]

First heard this poem in primary 5, we were told to recite this for speech and prize giving day, everyday during break, we went to the board and practiced the poem and trust me not to take the poem seriously *the poem was too long jor*. Fast-foward to speech and prize giving day and yours truly was called to come and present “his” poem. -____- Thank God for emergency exits o, the way with which I ran out of the hall still remains a mystery. I ended up not reciting the poem and hence lost my opportunity to collect my first prize for beating coming first on class that session. *I had always been beaten to it by girls 😦 *

Next?

3 To an Athlete Dying Young – Alfred E. Housman

The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high […]

I like this poem… Next?

4. The road not taken – Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; […]

In my year one, I used this poem to woo two babes and I’m lucky to be alive to tell the story. Imagine me forming, I >>>

*Flashback*

Dials RVP’s cell,

*beep* +, *beep* 4, *beep* *, *beep* 7, *beep* 7 and that was how my phone made the *beep* sound till I dialled his number. -_______-

*RVP picks it up*

RVP: Yo Niro!!! Sup? *does a 360β€’ Etigi*

Niro: I’m not good man. You?

RVP: I’m great, jsut turned down an extension to my Aresnal contract. Know how I told you I wanted to win a trophy other than the emirates cup

Niro: yea man, but that time we were smoking illegal weed in Amsterdam, we were influenced by the flames.

RVP: influenced? *bursts out laughter* I didn’t puff that thing man, I was faking it.

Niro: You didn’t? Me too πŸ™‚

RVP: Okay man, so tell me. You said you weren’t happy, what’s the matter.

Niro: About your refusal to sign for Arsenal. You see, since I Kanu left, I didn’t watch your club’s games with as much passion and since then I’ve enjoyed a peaceful time with myself…

*RVP cuts in…*

RVP: yea. Sad but true. Go on

Niro: so I wanted to also know how it feels to be always heartbroken, I wanted to support Arsenal. Seeing that I’m immortal and my heart can’t be broken by the female folks πŸ™‚

RVP: Sadly, I can’t continue man. I’m also heartbroken. I want to win trophies and I think I would look good in a Manchester City jersey 😐 but I’m not going there for ONLY the money, I want to win trophies.

*Sirkastiq barges in*

@Sirkastiq: You ingrate! I knew it, you want to join Nasri your ‘friend’ abi? B!@+#.

Niro: Saka, please take it easy. RVP, but if you wanted trophies, you would change nationality first. Afterall Netherlands haven’t won any major trophy… See you could be the problem πŸ™‚ an not the club.

RVP: Dayuum! *hangs up*

So my people, that’s how it went o… Let me go and stalk my followers hoping I can set P today πŸ™‚

Eh, I know its already boring. What are your other reactions to this post?

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– @DJNIRO_

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