You know how they said he without sin should cast the first stone?

Good. If you’ve never ever been bored in your life, feel free to say what you will. Because this post, is the result of extreme boredom.

See, it all started with Trace TV…

You see those people ehn, they can over-repeat song! Ahn ahn! One song will be played like 5 times in 1 hour. They played this particular song almost 30 times on the boring day in question… Na so vex catch me.

What you’re about to read now is the effect of listening to too much of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe.

If you survive this blogpost (and everything it contains), feel free to consider yourself amongst those who have survived major tragedies like The World Wars, Hurrican Katrina & Vic. O’s music.

(I hope you) Enjoy (and don’t end up killing me after) .

*******

I be wan go buy breakfast
This early Friday Morning
I no know who send you come
And now I’m so hungry

You say make I no go there
Say you wan give me your food
We come reach your house finish
And now I’m so hungry

Your house was so fine, dining table be like stadium
You cook you no come put Moin-Moin, why you come dey tell me story?

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy,
But Moin-Moin no dey, so Dodo maybe

I’m really sorry, and your food go soon cold,
But Moin-Moin no dey, so Dodo maybe

I don start to dey vex
You beg me make I stay
Say you go rush go buy am
And now I’m so hungry

I waited for so long
You come say Moin-Moin no dey
See as Eleven don knack
And I’m still so hungry

Your house was so fine, dining table be like stadium
You cook you no come put Moin-Moin, you come dey tell me story

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy,
But Moin-Moin no dey, so Dodo maybe

I’m really sorry, and your food go soon cold,
But Moin-Moin no dey, so Dodo maybe

Before you block me for road, I was so happy
I was so happy, Na God go punish you.

*****

You see ehn, this boredom was so bad, that I actually recorded a voice-note, and over-laid it on an instrumental on the actual song.

If voices were looks, I’d be uglier than Shrek. Yes, my voice is that bad.

If you feel you can survive the emotional and physical trauma that this will cause you though, feel free to download it here.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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