Good morning ladies, gentlemen & those who think Abacha was the serpent.

I hope I meet you well.

You know how ladies like to argue and disagree with men just because they know they have something between their legs that they threaten us with and make us lose the argument? Well… I have a girl in the house today, and she’s here to…. I don’t know sha.

Ladies, gentlemen, and those who think God cares if you’re an Aries, I give you my future wife, @Debloww

*****

*Hawt babe struts into the labour room, the fourth time.*

After hours of labour and other things that happen in that room, gives birth to yet another girl.

Husband: O_O wha da fook!!!!!!!!!!!! (Insert swear words in patois)

Sup people. Debloww here and I’m about to take on an amazing journey of life with gurrrrls!

*adorns cool shades*

Lez go!

1. Investment purposes

We all know how weddings are like in Nigeria. Mehn, white people don’t know what they are missing! You know the drill with bride price, gifts and what not. Have you ever imagined what you will do with about 50 tubers of yam at a go or seen the negotiation that goes on between the bride’s family and the inlaws? This is a serious money making industry. Do you know the extent of money and gifts received by the bride’s family? Now imagine having to get that four times!!! Four freaking times!!!!! Need I say more?? Your only duty in life is to nurture these girls till they attain the marriageable age. Then you sit back, relax, scratch your balls while you collect your dividend. Families with only boys need to go back to the drawing board to ascertain what went wrong…

2. Good cooking

A household with four girl kids will live healthy; Strong bones and teeth, nourishment for life ( err.. And the rest of that thing they say on Cadbury breakfast telly. Coo kids only pls). I saw a pic of Ogbono soup cooked by a guy once and I swear down, that shit looked a potion for a spell in an Harry Potter movie… There’s no way I can be convinced that shit wouldn’t turn someone into a frog when consumed. But with girls you never have to worry about good home-cooked meal. We’ve been blessed with a dexterity that is second to none. You’ll never have to worry about burnt boiled egg, amala with coco pops (not the cereal please) etc.

3. Easier clothing

When shopping for your baby girl before she is born, you can buy frilly pink frocks and also baggy pants and tees. Yes, a girl can rock whatever outfit and drip sweggu at the same time. Babes are wearing men’s cloths now and rocking it better than them e.g Makeshift oversized guy’s shirt – boyfriend shirt, Makeshift oversized guy’s blazer – boyfriend’s jacket…

Try dressing your baby boy in a skirt or dress and see whether your boy’s destiny won’t follow the path of charly boy’s.
Sigh…

Life is good.

4. TLC in your old age

When you are old, weak and grey, you are more or less a baby and need to be tended to. Parents of only girl kids are assured of this. You won’t be worried about being shipped off to an old people’s home to die!!! A woman’s heart is carefully constructed to stay emotionally attached to her parents even when she’s out of the home.

There you have it!!! I hope I’ve been able to convince you and not confuse you….. Sorry this is not a debate. (my bad!)

What is that saying again?

‘Train a man you train an individual; Train a woman, you train a nation,”

I rest my case

Pizz yo!!

*****

Ice Prince: Train a nation ko, helicopter a nation ni…. This Debloww girl just dey blow like fellatio…

Well, there you have it folks. Hope you enjoyed Debloww’s piece.

SIDE-NOTE: For you bitches that voted for this bitch-ass blog for funniest blog at the blog awards, their server was on some Alomo shit, so y’all have to get your asses back to http://www.nigerianblogawards.com/vote.php and vote again.

And for you extremely wonderful people that haven’t voted for ny blog at all, I really love you. But do you want Amadioha to use your femur as toothpick? Kindly follow the link and gaan vote.

Laters, baby.

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