Before we go on, its important that you all follow my new twitter account… @DJNIRO84. DJ NIRO, that’s the alias I go by and 84 has nothing to do with the year I was born. Unto the matter… (._. )

Have you ever been told any of the following words by a member of the opposite sex you find attractive? “We’re best friends”, “we’re super buddies”? If the answer to any of those two questions is negative, its not out of place for you to purchase a he-goat and go for thanksgiving on sunday or if you’re aren’t a Christian… Just celebrate.

Truth be told, the rate at which ladies and guys “zone” themselves these days is alarming (this quite deviates from the biblical injunction, “Go ye into the world, be fruitful and multiply”)… I digress.

Even after the Friend Zone madness has died in some quarters. Well today isn’t about the “Zone” per say, but rather we’ll be talking music.

If you’ve not read about the zone, please minimise this page and click this link before you continue.

*turns on iPod*

Top on my list is the song by Cassie, “Is it you?”. Now listen to this,

“I’m looking for a lover and not a friend… Someone who’s not afraid to say the way they feel about you”

I mean, here’s a lady who obviously has a lot of male admirers and what not… And is supposed to be a hot cake. I digress again. And then finally sees this guy that she really likes and instead of grabbing the package is still asking questions. Before you know it… Like magic, he’s in the friend zone even before he got to say a word. This life is a soft pawpaw mehn 😦

*Skips to next track*

Like I had not had enough, I had to meet this song by Mo’Fame (he featured Erriga and Glenn though) and here’s the punchline.

“After I don type, type, type, type, type the babe just L.O.L everything”.

Don’t even lie, a girl has done this thing to you before! Remember that fair, 5″10 Igbo chick that you picked up on your way to Showtime lounge? (By the way Showtime lounge is at the Silverbird Complex in Port Harcourt). Let’s say, after you made sure she had her fill of choice drinks from the bar (these usually range from N2,000 to N11,000 depending on who you are) and making sure you dropped her at her gate before going to kneel down and hands up for coming back home after 8pm… She decides to “bless you” with her BB pin [I usually ask for number and proceed to whatsapp just incase she uses an iPhone (˘̯˘) a niggur can’t be oppressed] and then you go on for like an hour giving her the coolest stories about how you want her to be “your own”… She replies… “L.O.L”.

Brother don’t even bother about continuing that chat… Just put one hand (left hand preferably) on your balls and swear for her three generations… Its allowed.

*Track 3*
February 14, 1999

“She says she likes it when I stay, she don’t want me to go…”

14 years later

“Girl would you be my lover? NO… Tired of running around chasing you…”

Sigh. This right there is the story of a Zonal camp director. I mean why will a guy make you smile, at the same time you like his style and he still doesn’t relent and chases you everywhere you go and yet you give him a James Bond franchise, dr NO, (the “dr” is silent). Why? I really can’t say more than I’ve said already, bros, park your bag and leave that part of the country. sigh.

Hope you notice how I started and ended the last paragraph with “Sigh”. Sigh

Right now, most of you are already laughing at me and saying I’m jobless and shit. You’re not far from the truth. Most of my mates have finished buying NYSC gear and I’m still here ( ._.)

Meanwhile, if you see Gloria, please read this to her…

“Hey, Gloria if you’re reading this, I know I messed things up and let you down. You might never believe me but then, This is just to let you know I’m really sorry. I’m sorry. 😦


give her a hug maybe

give her a hug maybe

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