I can imagine the looks on y’all faces when you see the link to this post.
“Oh, so the bastard has decided to write again, abi?”
“Yaaay, Uncle Wana is back”
“This boring idiot again”
Well, whichever it is, at least you’re here. And that all that matters, no Juan.
Wana’s Playbook would like to apologize for not posting anything in a while. Not that we really mean this apology, but I don’t have anything to write and I want to use it to chop space.
Niro would know how it would feel if a girl that was giving you head suddenly upped and left (I wouldn’t know. All my bitches love me like I’m a Lil Wayne track), and he says it’s a terrible feeling. So I can relate to how y’all feel, and we truly are sorry.
For those asking where I’ve been though, I don’t know where I’ve been oh. My name is not Bintu. Neither do I live in a dustbin. Nor do I eat Cabin biscuit. I do like Robin Hood though.
Ice Prince: Wana, e don do.
Me: Ice Prince my nigga!!! What’s good, fam? Where you been?
Ice Prince: I’ve been in Lagos, Accra, Johannesburg, Zurich, New York, Boston, Manchester, Rio de Janeiro, Beijing and Adelaide, so you can say I’ve been intensity.
Ah… Homeboy never disappoints. Y’all done heard his new jam though? VIP?
That song is a VIP mehn…
Very Impressive Poop.
That’s not why we are here though. So even though we’re not Maleek Berry, let’s get back to the matter.
While I was not in Blogsville, 2 different bloggers nominated for an award called a Liebster. Lemme quickly copy and paste the meaning from Kemi’s blog.
“A Liebster is an award given to up and coming bloggers with under 200 WordPress followers, The Liebster Award originated in Germany and Liebster means dearest or beloved, and Liebe is love.”
Now, I don’t mean to assume… But “dearest”… “beloved”… “love”… Could Kemi be in love with me? *wipes stray tear*
I know some of you jealous that Kemi loves me. It’s not my fault that a hot girl has never loved you. You should know it’s from your village when the girls that love you are the ones with their stomachs modified to form a third breast.
Ehen… On this Liebster issue. A Liebster is kinda of a biggie and carries a task, because with great penis comes great responsibility.
The Liebster award comes with a set of rules. Hold on lemme quickly copy and paste again.
1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. List 11 random facts about yourself
3. Answer the questions they have asked you
4. Nominate 11 other people
5. Ask the nominees 11 questions
6. Last and definitely least, let them know you have nominated them.
Okay. Thank the people.
Naija Dude and Kemi Windapo, thank you so much for this honors. You have added one small egg to my Moin-Moiny heart. May God bless you.
Okay… 11 random facts about myself. Hmmm.
1. I’m a bad guy.
2. I don’t plan to get married till I’m 30.
3. I’m a bad guy.
4. I’d rather give myself a blowjob than go watch a Nigerian movie at the cinemas.
5. I’m a bad guy.
6. From October, I plan to wear only Jalamias in public. Just feel like having an identity.
7. I’m a bad guy.
8. I have never actually met my co-author, Niro. And we’ve been running this shii since 19-kokoro.
9. I’m a bad guy.
10. I’ve grown tired of social networks. Twitter. BBM too. The only thing I do with my phone is listen to music and argue about basketball with a crazy bunch of people in one BBM group like this.
11. And last of all, I’m a bad guy.
On to the next one, no Jay-Z. S’posed to answer the questions asked. Since there are two awards and there are two authors, Niro will answer Naija Dude’s questions and I’ll answer Kemi’s questions. Naija Dude’s first.
If you could only rescue one parent from a burning house which would you save, and why?
Niro: My mom. She’s the only parent I’ve got.
How do spend your free time?
Niro: Design, listen to music.
What is your greatest achievement so far?
Niro: They’re plenty. Graduating from university is top of that. I didn’t believe I could do that. Relocating to Lagos is one of them, that’s because I had to give up a whole lot to make it happen.
If you were appointed President of your country, what would be your first act?
Niro: Get rid of the northern and southern political elite. They’re the problem of this country… Then make sure we produce our own consumer goods, refine our own PMS, AGO etc.
If you have to choose between dying by poisoning or suffocation, which will you prefer?
Niro: I do not. Want to die. Now
If you had just a wish, answer guaranteed what would you wish for?
Niro: I’d certainly ask for a thousand more wishes 😉
Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings (state reasons please)
Niro: No idea. Never seen any of them
What are the best five words that would describe you?
Niro: Dynamic, Creative, Swift, Loud, African.
Which of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S character would date if you have the opportunity?
Niro: Never seen it too. 😐
How did you get interested in writing?
Niro: Influenced by @Sirkastiq, @Oluwawanababa, @TheToolsman
If you could start all over in life, would you change anything?
Niro: I’d like to keep my dad longer…
This Niro boy will just be falling hand… How can you not have seen Harry Potter? *smh*
I’ll answer Kemi’s questions now… This thing don dey long oh…
1. Money, Power, Respect. Choose two. – LOOOOOL. Money & Power. Respect is overrated.
2. What is your idea of religion? – Kemi what is all this? Jamb was yesterday nah.
3. Have you ever considered politics? – Of course. Gats embezzle money before I die.
4. What do you do for fun? – Stroke my dick and wonder why I’m so awesome.
5. What one word do you think describes me? – You? Watermelons.
6. What one word describes you? – Me? Tintinanabulation,
7. What’s music to you? – I’ll put it this way. God. Family. Moin-Moin. Money. Music.
8. Do you have a plan B in life? If yes what is it? – Go into pornography. What’s the use of having an RPG-sized penis if you won’t use it for the good of mankind?
9. What book will you recommend for me to read? – The Alex Cross series by James Patterson. Mind-fucking guaranteed.
10. Why did you start blogging? – Pussy. Apparently ladies love the funny dudes.
11. Say something totally random! – Something totally random!
I didn’t waste my time attaching links to those names. Y’all should open those pages on an instant.
My questions for them. Hmmm.
1. What’s the most illegal thing you can do for money?
2. Can you be a housewife/husband?
3. Anal sex? (I’m such a pervert)
4. Dwayne Johnson or Vin Diesel?
5. How happy are you with the state of your life at the moment?
6. Music or Movies?
7. Most expensive place you’ve ever eaten?
8. What’s your favorite quote?
9. How satisfied are you with your body?
10. What sound do you love the most? (This is not sexual)
11. If you chose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?
My fingers are aching me like AK-47. This has been fun.
Glad to be back y’all.