If you’re surprised I’m here, I’m even more so. When Niro told me about his birthday yesterday, and went “Write a blogpost and say nice things boy!” I was torn in two emotions. First was that kind of shock you get when you watch 14 blades (A Chinese movie obviously), and see Donnie Yen listed twice in the cast.


GUY! How fa na?? Who you be?
GUY! How fa na?? Who you be?

The second was a sort of elation. Niro. Niro my boss, ask me make I write for am. On Wana’s playbook? I. Don. Die.

Anyway, I’m still not sure why Niro asked me to write this, I mean, I can’t exactly claim to be Closest Pal of the Year, but he’s a really nice chap, and one of the coolest people I’ve met on Twitter. I remember when I first knew of Niro. Think it was a post he and Wana wrote, back when Wana was still funny. Before the moin-moin breakdown. LOL.

Happy birthday Mr Nteoniro Betram Ikuru! From me, it’s 22 hearty cheers bro.

22 heart-y chairs.
22 heart-y chairs.

Niro is 22 you see. What? You didn’t know? Be there. All these small boys, they are the ones ruling this Twitter country. ( >_>)…(<_< ). He’s a DJ too, and a sick one at that (just in case you don’t know anything about him and need help with his biography).

“Yes! DJ Niro on the rims of tinfoil” – @misty0_0

Just another fan letting out her feelings. Oshey.

I promised you 22 hearty cheers, and cheers are celebratory sounds of joy or jubilation. So here’s 22 reasons for you to cheer on your birthday.

  • You’re alive. That’s the most important thing. If you weren’t alive, you couldn’t even celebrate the day. And then I wouldn’t be able to write in this awesome blog, and no one would get a chance to see my awesomeness.

    LOL..I don't even know why this is here, but it's awesome.
    LOL..I don’t even know why this is here, but it’s awesome.
  • You’re happy. Okay, I know I can’t say this authoritatively, but you’re always “Looooool” whenever we talk. And, I mean, I’m not that funny. Happiness is quite the scarce commodity these days, so keep being glad Niro, don’t the let the laughter cease from ya.
  • You’re talented and smart. First off, if you haven’t listened to a DJ Niro mix, you’re dulling big time. I live in one small village in Rivers State, and till this day, they revere me as a Party god. I played a Niro mix at a birthday while trying to figure out the keys to tap in VirtualDJTM And again, it’s no small beans being a programmer. It’s all calculations and weird symbols and words like ‘algorithm’. But Niro pulls these stunts like it’s cheeseballs.
  • You witnessed a DonJazzy tweetfight. Or at least you were alive on the day it happened. Goes to show anything can happen. The stories grandparents tell, might actually be true even.
  • It’s another year older, so you’re probably another year wiser. It’s probably even true.
  • This is the one day of the year, apart from Christmas, where you are assured of some finger-licking, oily-smooth, black-mound-bouncing, between-the-she.. some quality female company.
  • Be happy because, every new day is an opportunity to make big. Another chance to be better than yesterday. Another opportunity to increase your self-esteem and happiness.

    Apparently, Old Chi fu say so.
    Apparently, Old Chi fu say so.
  • A loud cheer because you’ve got Family and you’ve got friends. Not exactly the Twitter version, but hopefully you catch my drift. We’re not much else without our family and our friends, and if you’ve got any, it’s a reason to cheer everyday.
  • You’ve got dreams. Dreams are things to look forward to. Something you can plan towards. That you can envision, and steadily work to create, is something to take joy and pride in. Certainly worth a cheer.
  • THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS ARE NEXT MONTH! Guy, if that doesn’t make you whoop for joy, certainly nothing can.
  • Be happy bro, because you don’t know what Harpic tastes like.
  • Be happy cuz you can smell, taste, feel, hear, see, read, speak, write, type, laugh.
  • Be cheerful cuz, even though some days you’re not on top, some days you are! I prefer being beneath though.
  • I saw this somewhere, and I gotta add. Be happy that someone loved you enough to clothe you, feed you and send you to school.
  • Be happy for the Internet. I think that one deserves two cheers. One for the chairwoman and one for the chairman
  • A full-throated cheer for the taste of Heineken, official drink of the Army of Asgard.
  • They have removed the UK Visa Bond. Now, you can travel and disappear into the UK. Something I’m sure you’ll never do, being very awesome and whatnot. But…
  • Did you see the Eclipse? Be happy if you did, you’re more fortunate than half of us. I waited for three hours, in the rain, wearing sunglasses. For eclipse. Didn’t even see rainbows.
  • Nigeria is still One.
  • GOD exists. That’s a big reason to cheer in my book. Ignore those pseudo-agnostic folk on Cool Twitter, it’s a genuine reason to be happy and you ought to rejoice.
  • Ogbolo. As simple as that.
  • Finally, I think you should cheer for free will. And for choice. The ability to choose between options, to want something and actually go for it, without being ruled completely by determinative instincts. But fogerrit, I’m the coolest English-speaking kid.
I'm coolest in my up-and-down jeans..
I’m coolest in my up-and-down jeans..

Have a fun day Niro, strength to your arm, and wisdom to your heart I pray for you.

*sniff*...you're going to make me fall down and cry
*sniff*…you’re going to make me fall down and cry

That’s Niro by the way…