nysc_blues

For everything there’s a season — a time to be born and a time to die.

I don’t know how I feel when I hear this statement but then it’s true. There are protocols that need to be followed to get to wherever you want to go (this doesn’t apply to Nigeria anyway).

On this note I welcome all you $1000 wedding ring enthusiasts and lowkey feminists to yet another episode of Niro Rants.

So yea Niro is done with NYSC (yaaaaay) and most people didn’t realize that I had served my country diligently (sic) these past few months. The even more annoying thing is the fact people tend to think that it’s all a bed of roses serving Nigeria, especially when you realise that you will have sent at least 100 applications before the date of your passing out ceremony.

I had the privilege of sitting down with Niro for a quick chat about his time serving the Nigerian state…. Below are some wise words I could gather. (words of Interviewer in BOLD .

 

Q: Congratulations Niro you made it out of NYSC unscathed. How do you feel?

I feel fulfilled. It was a tough one but because I have black man blood in me, I came out victorious.

Q: What was the high point of your service year?

Losing my phone while trying to board a bus to Lekki from CMS.

Q: And every time you think of that moment, what happens?

I cri evri tiem

Q: What advice would you give to graduates eager to join the corps?

Don’t.

How was the General CDS? Was it fun?

Well if you call sitting in the sun and listening to nursing mothers complain about serving while forcing their 17-month old baby on your laps fun. Then it was fun.

What would you miss most about CDS?

The 6 hours I wasted once in a month doing nothing.

So who are you dedicating your service year to?

Oh that would be Efe Abighe and Folarin Sanusi — without these guys I would be serving a six month extension without pay right now.

So what do you intend to do with your NYSC uniform?

Well the plan was to auction it as a costume seeing that it cost the government a lot to produce such high quality (sic) uniform.

But I would rather preserve it and add to the National Museum as per “this is the uniform the president of Nigeria during his National Service”.

If given the opportunity, will you serve in the NYSC again?

LOOOOOOOOOOOL 😐

So what’s the plan after now?

Port Harcourt and save the world. One woman at a time. Maybe (No I kid).

Any last words for @88Factor and @Anibrendan who have refused to serve Nigeria?

You’ve made the right decision guys. Postpone this as long as you can and you will be serving with grey hair soon enough.

### End Transmission ###

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